Fundamental Issues

Recently after trying to mend some broken relationships with the women in my life, as well as develop other relationships I have had to elucidate what some of my issues and struggles are with this part of my relationship landscape. Part of my real difficulty comes from four traumas in my past that make dealing with women more difficult for me:

1. a specific time in my life as a child where I felt abandoned by a woman
2. a specific time as a child when I felt publically shamed by a woman
3. a specific time as a child when I felt ignored/devalued in my understanding of the world by a woman (which ultimately lead to being publicly shamed by a woman).
4. a specific time as a child when I felt betrayed by a broken promise made by a woman

Whenever I feel one of these things has happened to me now it is very difficult to not get upset. I'm not sure how to resolve these traumas but recognizing their significance is undoubtedly a first step.

Recognizing that my patterns of behavior around these issues can also incite responses that are related trauma in others is helpful too. Many people have unresolved traumas in their lives which lead them to unhealthy patterns of relating. Simply knowing this fact can help all people be more forgiving and patient when it comes to dealing with receiving hurt from friends or family members. In all of this I have resolved to try to stay open to insight from friends and family members especially if it comes from the word of God.